I need a spell

I need the red yummy pork spell, you know it? It's teh spell they use in Chinese take out places to make the little bits of pork in the fried rice red and yummy, yet fully cooked, I need the spell if anyone out there has it.

musings with the familiars

I really am wondering at the wisdom of not getting salamanders even more. The familiars, have been dubious about the practice of many human mages' habit of bathing (in particular mine) they find the whole submersion in water aspect disturbing. I have pointed out that licking myself clean is not an option. *shudders at the thought* there are some things that taste worse than stamps and envelopes, if you know what I mean.

The little creatures, have been giving me a devil of time trying to prove their point. The waterless shampoo and bathsoap gag was funny, till the shower nozzle blew out sand........Grrrrr

T.T.I.P.

(temper tantrum in progress that is)

I can't seem to make this annul tantrum spell work either, the little accolyte just howl louder, which I had not imagined was possible. (note to self must explore sonic weapon spells, as well as resistant shielding)

today's to do list:
find out why there is a severed hand running around my fridge
play with the tower spook
blog a bit about something
check my mundane (I mean E-mail) mail
familair obediance classes

Alchemy foot notes:

(it really has nothing to do with my fictitous mage persona, but still it ift here)

Alchemy focuses on physical and spiritual or mental transformation.

The goal of the Great Work of alchemy, called also the Art, is the "Philosopher's Stone". The Stone was viewed as a magical touchstone that could immediately perfect any substance or situation. The Elixir of the alchemists has essentially the same ability to perfect any substance. When applied to the human body, the Elixir cures diseases and restores youth.

The alchemists' dream is to attain knowledge of the mysterious Philosopher's Stone, or "that Elixir by which such wonders are performed".The Stone is "a blessing beyond all blessings upon earth... given to but very few, and to those few rather by revelation of the good angels of God than the proper industry of man".

Alchemical texts should not be read literally and their content is purely allegorical and mystical. The studies of Carl Gustav Jung show it is possible to detect correspondences between alchemy and mysticism: the alchemist himself, too, was to live through the process of transmutation, and become transformed as a result.

In modern language the Stone is a symbol of incorruptible wisdom achieved by uniting both rational, intellectual thinking (masculine, rational, right brain activity) with our intuitive knowing of the heart (feminine, intuitive left brain activity)
The alchemists believed that perfection could only be achieved by working with both Solar (Scientific) and Lunar (intuitive) ways of knowing and ultimately uniting them in a third state of Stellar Consciousness. Stellar Consciousness is a state of incorruptible wisdom symbolized by the heroic Child that resulted from the marriage of the King and Queen, as well as by Salt, Gold, the Philosopher's Stone, the Astral Body, and of course, the Stars themselves.

Another lab accident

That whole everything tastes like chicken, it was a spell that went awry, and if you've been affected I'm sorry, I have a temporary solution I've come up with in potion form for anyone who wishes to try......I call it everything tastes like broccoli.....any takers?

my new neighbor

Is a car necromancer just out of the mages academy.............

another year older

and a little more evil.....what you were'nt aware of my evil....how else did you think I maintained so much charm and charisma? Mwaahaaahaaaa......

nothing excitintg at all to report

I spilled a jar of mundane dust everywhere......It takes a while till it's affects wear off......no magic help with the laundry for a while........sigh

ugh

Stink sprites and noxious butt spirits along with poop elementals have gotten lose here....They seem to gather in the vicinity of the neophyte's room......Something about diapers cannot be combated by any amount of magic......

Laboratory accident

The chili I made tastes fabulous, but it makes everything taste like beer......Uhm domestic beer......Too much Pickled Toad's Tongue?

Day 19

Well now that I've finished negotiating with the magical entity formerly known as my diary, it's agreed to leave me alone, in exchange for being allowed to rent my Chantry. So I've used the equity on my Chantry to buy a Keep. It's fabulous!!! It even has a tower. The realtor tells me the tower is haunted and the reason I'm able to get the sprawling manse so cheaply. I was overjoyed. I've always wanted a haunted tower but all these years I thought the feature cost extra. So Now that I've got power turned on here in the keep, I'll be back on line. There was some sort of code issue with the wiring and they wouldn't turn it on at first. Now I guess it's decoded. I'll be back later I have the tower all set up for a Seance.......But I need to find an apprentice to look after the neophyte while I play with my spook..............

Day 3

My Chantry is besieged. It is under attack by this new virtually unheard of mage with a funny leather spine. It knows all my best recent spells. I believe it was my run away diary before some magical evolution it underwent.
I am in the process of trying to get at my older spells within my grimoires. It shouldn't be long I only have to finish answering the lame riddles I used to encrypt them. If that fails I will arm my catapults with flaming neophyte poo to drive off my attacker.

Day 2

Those blasted familiars are driving me crazy. I really should have gotten more salamanders instead of switching to these insane little cats. This morning they ran up to the door howling until I got out of my snuggly mage warmed bed to let them in from the fog. They were running from it and hissing at it. The fool things, I tried to tell them it was a meteorological induced fog and entirely inert in a magic sense but they hid under my bed anyway. Undignified behavior for familiars.

They woke me again as soon as I had gotten back to sleep. They wanted to be fed. Insane!!!!! This is the first type of familiar I have ever owned that was too lazy to feed itself. I know they are quite capable, but they act helpless ever since I got the neophyte to train up in magery. I think they are jealous.

Of coarse you know how neophytes are......Helpless.....squalling little bundles of unbridled magical talent, you have to change their diapers, feed them, teach them to talk and hope their toddler language does not encompass any powerful true magical words that could set of your whole laboratory. It is equally alarming when they begin to get teeth and chew on such things as Eye of Newt or Sorcerer's Toes and then belch small accidental spells of a chaotic nature. It is easy to see why so few mages take neophytes into their homes to raise in the ways of magic these days.

Day 1

The hand written diary I've kept for ages seems to have wandered off after gaining life of it's own. I wrote too many spells in it I'm quite certain and imbued it with too much magical essence. I really did know better, but sometimes you want to write down a spell without having to bother with one of your grimoires.

I tried summoning it back so I could at least retrieve my previous scrawlings, but alas I seems it is not on a plane I can reach with my powers. So I've decided to start one of these bloggy things for my new diary. After all everyone knows that technology nullifies magic.